DO NOT EVER TAKE A LUXURY BUS IN VIETNAM!

You have been warned and I wash my hands of any harm or horror that befalls you for thinking you can handle it.

By the time our "luxury bus" arrived in Ninh Binh it had been filled to capacity with people who boarded in Hanoi. Only 1.5 hours into their trip they all looked ready to smash out the plexi-glass windows and hurl themselves from the moving vehicle. Jessica got a seat next to a Vietnamese man who thought she would make a good elbow rest. I was lucky enough to secure a choice seat in the back row, which did not recline. It did allow me the honour of cradling in my lap for ten hours the head of the man in front of me who felt he needed to recline fully.

Probably the most frustrating part of the whole journey was that the Vietnamese folks on board (the ones with perfectly good seats that reclined and offered access to the small stream of air from the vents) left their seats empty to take up residence in the aisles! But if anyone tried to sit in their seat it would suddenly be "occupied" by the feet of a neighbour.

To add salt to the wound when we arrived in Hue we were told the bus was terminating and we would have to wait in a travel agent's office until the onward bus showed up. So we sat in the darkened office with signs boasting that they "OGRANIZED ROMATIC KAYARKING" trips for almost two hours waiting for the bus. It was bound for Hoi An, but we were stopping in Lang Co to enjoy a few days on the beach.

Well, the bus didn't even stop in Lang Co. It stopped 3km from any part of Lang Co. A guy with a motorbike said he would bring us to a hotel of his choosing and that we could call him when we wanted to rebook the bus to Hoi An. We decided to be done with this Trekking Travel bus company sooner rather than later. I tossed our bags back under the bus and we rode on to Hoi An.

It's been five days now and I am really glad we came straight to Hoi An. We bargained our hotel down so low that they give us evil stares when we go up for the free breakfast, or to use the free pool, or to get on the free computers. Soon we plan to make use of their free bicycles, BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We emptied our backpacks completely (NOW THAT'S LUXURY) and have been extremely lackadaisical about our daily activities. They consist of strolling by the river, exploring the old town streets, visiting cloth shops to arrange for tailor made clothes and eating local delicacies.

Tomorrow we are doing something that can actually be considered cultural, visiting the My Son temples nearby.