why does it always end like this?

my plane leaves in a few hours. of course i am panicked. i feel like i'm forgetting something. everything. my head is racing. i always feel like this until i get to the airport and then, when it's out of my hands, i relax. by tonight i'll be in thailand.

yesterday i went to rottnest island with dad. this is where his father was held as a pow in ww1 when he was fourteen. it is a gorgeous, reef bordered island and we spent all day just exploring the sand dunes and beaches, imagining my grandfather walking these sands 90 years ago. it was a beautiful day. it was surreal to be with him on that island, searching for a link that i knew almost nothing about just weeks ago. i think i learned things that i have been trying to learn for twenty years.